Recently, I have sensed from a lot of people that they have an underlying belief that God is mad at them. Unfortunately, this belief may be perpetuated by very angry Christians who seem to fixate on God's wrath and judgement on the world. While God's word makes it very clear God will allow us to suffer the consequences of sin or that He will have the final say about this world and all who have lived in it, don't believe for one second that He enjoys seeing His children suffer. In fact, more often than not the Bible makes it clear that He stands waiting to be a comforter, counselor, loving father and even a friend.
It seems as though those who fixate on the wrath and judgement of God actually enjoy knowing their enemies will one day suffer. If these people are truly believers and followers of Christ, they would not revel in one moment of suffering and would do all they could to bring someone back into the fold of the Lord. It's challenging, especially when we've been hurt but I believe each day we walk this planet we are faced with this truth - God loved every person on this planet - dead, living and yet to live - so much that He gave His only son to cover everything ever done wrong or wrongs yet to be committed. (John 3:16)
You say, "There's no way. You don't know what I've done or how I think about people." I say, "See for yourself." All throughout the Bible, God made it very clear, He loves you - a love strong enough to put Himself on a cross, after being beaten, spat upon, wrongly accused and mocked. You say, "I used to think there was a God but now I'm not so sure and how could He want me?" God exists and loves you whether you acknowledge Him or not. Regardless of your perceptions of Him or your relationship with your earthly parents, your Heavenly Father waits for you to return to Him - he waits with open arms, ready to celebrate and rejoice.
One of the most well known parables told by Jesus is the one of the prodigal son. This is found in Luke, chapter 15. The young man has everything he needs to succeed by way of his father but forsakes all of this to go live the high life of sex and money. He eventually ends up feeding pigs, which in Jewish society was lower than "rock bottom". The son eventually decides to return to his father to see if he could be included in the family fold once again. On his way back to the father, he begins to get his story together, to hopefully earn the love of his father.
The prodigal son felt the need to get his story together before approaching his father because deep down he believed his dad was mad at him. The most beautiful part of this story was that the father, seeing his son far off, began to run to him with open arms and then called for a huge celebration to mark his return. Jesus shared this story so that it would be no secret to us...our Heavenly Father looks at the horizon and waits for our return to Him. He is not seething and pacing, but patiently and lovingly waiting.
Do not carry the lie around with you that God hates you. He knew you from your conception, He knows every facet of you and He knew every mistake you would ever make and yet He still gave Himself up for you. Shame is used to keep you separated and in bondage, but the realization of the gift of forgiveness brings freedom. There's no need to get your story straight, He already knows your story, He merely seeks your return.